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Geperna Pre-Flight

*Thayer returned to the Warren in high spirits, pointedly ignoring the pinch of unease coming from his dragon. Stacurik didn’t need to voice his concerns for the insidious what-ifs and maybes to seep across their connection to his rider. He did not believe as ardently as his rider that Bane would be in favour of this plan, despite being in absolute agreement that the heir’s older brother needed to get out more.  There was another layer to Stacurik’s worries that nibbled at the back of Thayer’s mind though. A quiet, persistent hope that this would work out because Stacurik, more than Thayer or Bane, needed this chance. Thayer took a moment to reinforce his mental barriers as the blue came to a landing on the ledge outside of their den. Stacurik’s anxieties became a distant, muted drumming at the back of his mind. As Thayer slipped from Stacurik’s back, he gave the dragon a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then strode past him toward the den. Stacurik replied with a mental thumbs up before taking off once more. Unlike Thayer, he could not escape his own anxieties so easily. Thayer had not chosen the largest den for his own. That one belonged to the Ferrin family. Nor the loftiest one. That one belonged to Shalomji, the sentry. In fact, when selecting his home away from his parents’ home, he’d tried to be as modest and considerate of others as possible. Which meant he’d ended up with two average sized dens that he’d then had combined into a single, sprawling cavern. He’d put the majority of the space toward a living area, complete with couches, tables, bar counters, and bookshelves, while Stacurik had a sizable chunk of floor space all to himself. His personal living quarters hid behind a curtain at the far end of the room. In the centre of the room, seated on one of the overstuffed couches that surrounded a glass coffee table, sat the hulking, armoured mountain of a man that was his brother, Bane. Bane rose as Thayer strode in through the dragon entrance. The black of his armour matched the black mood etched onto his hard features. “Again, Thayer,” he intoned in a voice as deep as a canyon. “Why are you always-” “Ah ah ah,” Thayer cut in, holding up a finger to interrupt his brother’s tirade. He marched over to the couch with a bounce in his step and threw himself down across the soft cushions. “Before you start admonishing me, you can begin with a ‘thank you’.” Bane’s brows came together in confusion. “Thank you for what?” “For doing what you’ve avoided doing all these years. Getting you a life.” “What does that mean? What did you do?” “Why do you have to sound so accusatory? I’m doing you a favour and you’re all ‘what did you do?’” Thayer dropped his voice to a deep growl in imitation of his brother. “Because any time you do something for someone else, it’s always to benefit yourself.” “Ugh,” Thayer groaned, throwing his head back over the arm of the couch. “You sound just like Baeris.” Something in the silence between his sentence and Bane’s response stretched taut. Thayer didn’t need to extend his telepathy to feel the sudden spike of anxiety coming off his brother. “What about Baeris? What did you do?” Thayer sat up, scooching back on the couch so he could prop his elbows against the arm of the couch. “As I said, I helped you get a life. I set everything up. All you have to do is go tell her that you’re interested in having a flight, she finds you some eligible men, then you fall madly in love and realise that you’ve been wasting your life babysitting me all these years.” He paused and extended his hands in a gracious gesture. “You’re welcome.” Bane did not see his gesture. Or appear to hear his full plan at all. He had already turned away from his brother and stalked off a few feet. He held his hands to his face, and for a moment, Thayer believed he might be crying. When Bane spoke next, his voice had a thin, tight quality to it that Thayer had never heard before. “Please, please tell me you did not speak to Baeris about me.” “Well I would, but that would be lying, and that would be wrong.” Bane turned around. As pale as his complexion was, it seemed to have lost all its colour in an instant. “This isn’t funny. If this is a joke, it isn’t funny. Did you tell her my name?” “Why would I be joking,” Thayer demanded. Irritation wormed at his own thoughts. Of all the reactions he expected, this was not one of them. That irritation grew as Bane turned around and covered his face with his hands once more. “What’s the big deal? She knows I have a brother. We’ve been going to see her for years.” “YOU,” Bane roared. He whirled around once more, fury in his eyes. “You went to see her. Mom went to see her. Dad went to see her. I never did. Did you forget that? I never joined you!” Thayer opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. He thought back on all the visits to the Den. The few times he felt free to explore and adventure to his heart’s desire. He thought back to the look of confusion Baeris had given him. Pieces began to click into place. “I begged mom and dad not to tell her about me. I begged them! They agreed and they’ve kept my secret for years. And then you go and fuck it up because… because what? You thought me getting laid would give you the leeway to fuck your way across the Nexus?” “Hey now,” Thayer cut in. He pushed himself up from the couch. “I was thinking of you.” “You were thinking of yourself. You’re always thinking of yourself,” Bane snarled back. “You know what? Yes, I was thinking of myself. I was thinking of how embarrassing it is to have my brother follow me literally everywhere I go. I was thinking it’s exhausting to hang out with my friends and have to listen to them think about how weird and antisocial you are. Gods, you’re like a shadow. A large, sulking, looming shadow with no life. Like you think you can hide just by standing still. News flash. You’re the size of a building and you have the presence of a hormonal wher.” Thayer let the words trail off and drew in a few deep breaths. He’d been holding in those sentiments for years. It felt a little therapeutic to throw them in Bane’s face. Yet one look at his brother made the good feeling shrivel up and die. “Why do you even care if she knows about you or not? It’s just Baeris.” Bane did not speak for several long seconds. He stood facing Thayer, breathing as heavily as the heir. As if he’d just been the one to have an emotional explosion. “Because the last time she saw me, I was with my father,” he said in a flat tone. Then he turned, shaking his head, and moved toward the dragon ledge. “But you don’t care about what anyone else has been through, do you? Especially not if it gets in your way.” It was the way he said father that made the connection for Thayer. He wasn’t referring to their father, the High Prince. The hatred and malice wrapped up in that singular word pointed toward the Hydra Lord, Krent Iktari. A man Thayer had never known, but who existed as a threat in the minds of all Tris’Hathians. A thread of panic wormed its way into his thoughts. “I did it for Stacurik and Baaki’Virh,” Thayer shouted at Bane’s retreating back. The large, armour clad man’s steps slowed, and then stopped altogether. He did not turn to face Thayer again, but his head tilted, and that was enough. “You’re not stupid. I know you’ve seen it too. But they won’t do anything because…” Thayer trailed off, grimacing and making a motion between himself and Bane. “I mean, I’ve got no problem with them being all lovey-dovey with each other. I do have a problem with your taste in men though.” Thayer moved around the couch and toward the wet bar a few steps away. There were so many emotions crowding in on his mind that a few simple mental walls weren’t cutting it anymore. The alcohol wouldn’t help, but at least it made him feel better. “I’m not- It’s not like that.” Bane said. Thayer grabbed one of the clear, crystal decanters off the shelf and filled a short glass with a bright amber liquid. He allowed himself to enjoy a sip of the burning liquid before he turned to face Bane once more. The hulking man hadn’t moved from the dragon entrance, and the light streaming in through the opening cast his entire silhouette in black. “You’re my brother.” “I know. And I would never- I’m not even going to think of that.” Bane paused and lifted a hand to rub at his face. “I’ve been here for eighteen years now. I watched you grow up. You are my family. But you’re also the only person who’s ever looked at me and not seen the armour first.” “You know, maybe if you took it off a bit more often, people wouldn’t see it so much. Just a thought.” “You know I can’t do that. Eight hours. That’s the limit.” “Does it have to be all the same eight hours? Yeah, getting a good night’s rest is great and all, but it’s like you’re terrified of losing even a second of sleeping time to fun time. From personal experience, I can tell you that fun time is way more enjoyable than sleep time.” Bane did not reply to Thayer’s quip. He did not move either, which Thayer supposed was better than him storming away again. Thayer let out a short, frustrated sigh, then downed the rest of his drink. “Look,” he said, “I’m sorry I spilled your secret, but it’s out now. You could at least try talking to her. For Baaki’s sake.” “Don’t try to guilt me on this,” Bane growled. “No guilt. But you know, I know you love your dragons. And I’d be willing to stay far, far away from the Den. Right here in fact. The whole time.” Bane narrowed his gaze until his dark eyes became pinpoints of suspicion, barely visible against the shadows darkening his face. Thayer touched a hand over his heart in response. “I swear by the Four Gods, I will stay in my den the entire time you’re gone.  If you promise to give it a shot.” Bane said nothing at first. Thayer felt the pull of his thoughts. Two sides warred for domination, but his brother remained outwardly neutral. It was Bane’s best and most used defence in difficult situations. Shut down all expressions, flatten out all responses, until he could scarcely be told apart from a golem.  “No promises,” Bane growled. Then he turned and completed his march out to the ledge.  Left alone in the den, Thayer poured himself another drink and savoured a long sip. He looked back at the empty dragon entrance with a sense of satisfaction filling his chest. He sighed and smiled to himself. “Whelp. I’m bored.”

*Bane did not call for his bonds when he left the den, though he felt their inquisitiveness press at his thoughts. Baneo recommended violence, as he often did. Baaki’s touch was far more withdrawn than usual, almost fearful. She headed toward him without a word spoken between them, but one firm thought of solitude sent her back to the ground. It hurt him to hurt her in such a way, but he needed space. No, he needed advice. His head was too full.  Bane dropped from the ledge and called the wind to him. It caught him in mid-air as the thick branches and heavy leaves of the canopy whipped past, and changed his trajectory from straight down to a swift glide along the slope of the mountain. The Warren lay at the very base of the mountain, nestled into a ravine between two steep slopes. Though once upon a time it, and all the lands around it, had been barren and diseased, now the domed top of the cavern appeared as lush and verdant as the forest all around. Bane shot straight past the back side of the Warren, past the gaping maw that looked in on S’trrayania’s den at the heart of the cavern. He circled around to the front and eased up on the magic that kept him hovering in the air. Yet as he came to a landing before the sprawling, moss-covered cavern with its numerous entrances, he began to doubt his actions. Thayer hadn’t acted out of malice, after all. Thayer never acted out of malice. Yet he equally never acted with any type of forethought. If Baeris knew that he not only lived, but lived freely and openly as a child of her friend… He didn’t want to think of how she would react. He also didn’t want to put Mystic in the position of explaining everything to her. Yet there was no way for him to simply put this proverbial cat back in the bag. Thayer had told her that he had a brother. She would expect his brother to turn up. A gentle breeze tickled his thoughts. It threaded its way through his worries and fears, shedding a calming, golden light across his anxious mind. ::Child, cease your pacing and come inside. Your thoughts are blaring louder than a war drum.:: Bane gave himself a mental kick for not thinking quieter thoughts. Of course she would hear him. He could scarcely hear his own heartbeat over the screaming in his mind. With a resigned sigh, he turned and walked toward the largest of the towering stone archways that led into the Warren’s dragon dens. The air within cooled in an instant. Between one step and the next, he went from maintaining a breeze within his own armour to having no more need of the daily cantrip that kept him from overheating. Low light illuminated the rough stone walls with their hints of glittering quartz. The chamber itself flared out into a sprawling space twice the size of Thayer’s own den, though half as filled. Much of the space belonged to the dragons, dominated by a deep pit filled with soft, well-beaten pillows. The farther back into the room he walked, the more human touches he passed. Bookshelves, tables, chests filled to bursting with trinkets and important documents, and a fireplace large enough to fit his bed. And then, against the far wall and surrounded on all sides by bookshelves twice as tall as himself, sat his mother behind a heavy oak desk. Mystic did not have her head bent over her desk, eyes restlessly scanning an endless sea of documents, as she often did. She looked at him and smiled, but there was a reservation in her golden eyes. “Are you alright, Bane? It’s not like you to project so loudly,” she said as he drew near. “Yes. No.” Bane hesitated and brought a hand up to rub at his brow. His head didn’t make any sense. Normally he excelled at compartmentalising and analysing, but all he could think of was how this felt like a betrayal of his brother. “Don’t be mad at him.” Mystic’s calm, patient expression hardened immediately. “What did Thayer do?” “He had good intentions.” “My son excels at good intentions. What he fails at is good sense. All the good intentions in the world do not make up for a lack of forethought for how those around you might be affected. I will reserve judgement until after you’ve told me what he’s done.” Mystic gestured toward the cushioned seat across from her. Bane fell into it, the impact of his weight causing the wood to creak beneath him. “He went to the Healing Den and told Baeris about me,” he said. Astonishment lit in Mystic’s eyes. “Why would he do that?” “Because he wants me to participate in a flight.” The moment the words left his lips, a wave of embarrassment overtook him. He was no stranger to flights, though Baaki had never risen. He was certainly no stranger to intimacy either. So why then was the thought of a flight meant specifically for him so terrifying? A frustrated, strangled noise caught in his throat and he dropped his head between his hands. “This sounds even more ridiculous when I say it out loud.” “Let me guess. He offered this plan to you under the guise of helping you find some company, meanwhile leaving him free and clear to cavort as he pleases.” “That was my assumption too.” “You would think he wouldn’t be so eager to find himself grounded once more.” “His heart’s in a good place.” It was, wasn’t it? Thayer’s intention was to encourage him to make his own connections in the Nexus, instead of simply being a tangential part of all of Thayer’s. And then there was the secondary motive. The one that made his stomach twist. “He wanted to give Stacurik and Baaki’Virh a chance to… you know.” Mystic said nothing, but tipped her head in a drawn-out nod. Nervous energy thrummed through his body. Bane rose to his feet and began to pace. “And in that context, I can see why he did it,” he said. “He can stay here and they get to have their fun.” His brother’s bond and his own, together as they desired. He didn’t need to reach out to Baaki’s mind to know that she wanted this. That she had wanted this for years, and that was why she’d never risen before. And certainly this wouldn’t be a one time thing for them. They were in love. Thayer disapproved of his taste in men. The wave of embarrassment, paired with a sickness twisting his insides, rose up and threatened to drown him again.  “Meanwhile, you being occupied at the same time is a happy coincidence,” Mystic said. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I spend too much time being his shadow.” “At my and your father’s request.” “But am I his guardian or am I his brother? Can I really be both?” “Do you wish for someone else to take on the role of his guardian?” “No.” The answer came so swiftly to his lips that Bane couldn’t deny the truth of it. He took pride in looking after Thayer, and he honestly enjoyed his company. Once upon a time, they’d been inseparable. Yet now when he looked at Thayer, caught a glimpse of him when the heir didn’t think he was looking, he saw the hint of doubt. That shadow that was so familiar to him from everyone else, but it wasn’t supposed to come from Thayer. “But he has a point. In all these years, I haven’t exactly tried to connect with anyone else.” “Bane, if this is something you want, then you should go. You are just as deserving of a life as he is. But if you are doing this because Thayer thinks you should, then I would encourage you to forget about what your brother wants for once. What do you want?” What did he want? It had taken him years to acknowledge the pit of discontentment in himself that represented his sexual needs. There was always that venomous voice in the back of his mind telling him he wasn’t good enough, he didn’t deserve to be happy, he was the vile, evil get of the worst this world had to offer, and his attempts to be anything else were all just a pitiful act. When people met him and recoiled, it wasn’t the aura of the armour that drove them away. It was him.  Bane released a frustrated snarl. This was not like him at all. When Mystic rose from behind her desk and came toward him, he stopped pacing. The energy remained, setting fire to every nerve in his body, but he had no outlet. When he tried to look her in the eye, shame restrained him. He stared at the ground as she gently took his arm and guided him toward one of the couches by the empty fireplace. They sat together in silence for a time, Bane staring at the ground and Mystic gently holding onto his arm. She waited, patient as stone, until he was ready. “I tried making friends before,” he said. “They always pretended that they liked me, but I could see it in their eyes. I could see how the armour was affecting them. It’s better if I just avoid people.” “My sweet boy, do you remember the first day I came to you after the rescue,” Mystic asked. “You were avoiding me too then.” “I was, but that was not your doing. Yet you still tried to extract yourself from the situation anyway.” “I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.” “Bane.” Mystic spoke his name in a warm whisper and waited. When he turned his head to face her, she smiled and touched his cheek. “You weren’t hurting me. Never.” “But I-” “No,” Mystic said, her tone firm but loving nonetheless. “What happened back then was not your fault. I had my own demons to contend with. You, though, I see you fighting yours every day. You are always so conscious of how others react around you. So quick to shut down any sort of interaction before it has even begun.” “I know where it’ll end up. Why bother?” “Because people are more resilient than you think. I won’t deny that your father and I feel the armour’s presence just as anyone else, but it doesn’t bother us anymore. The same can be said for many of the friends you do have. Zydelle for example.” Bane grimaced and slumped in on himself. He had to admit that he found it easier to shut down and tune out those around him rather than trying to engage. Yet the people he did regularly spend time around didn’t react anymore. It had taken time, as it always did, but even he forgot about the armour in the right company. Yet if he went ahead with this plan, if he went to the Healing Den, there would be no familiar faces to shelter behind. He would be raw and open to all the scrutiny and all the questions the Nexus had to offer. And Baeris. He grimaced again. “It’s ridiculous. I’m afraid to face her.” “No, it’s entirely understandable. There is one person in all of the Nexus that I am legitimately afraid of, and that’s Baeris.” Bane looked at Mystic, confusion scrunching his brow. “I didn’t think she had that much power.” “She doesn’t, but when she’s disappointed, you feel it.” Mystic paused to draw in a breath, and for a moment her eyes went to a distant memory. “Like a mother.” It dawned on him then that, regardless of what he did, Mystic would need to answer to Baeris eventually. She’d hid his presence for nearly two decades of regular contact. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in this position,” he said. “You didn’t. You asked me to protect you. You are my child, so I did what any mother would naturally want to do. The consequences are mine to deal with.” “Except now I have to face her.” “We can go together if it would make you feel better.” “No. As cliché as it sounds, I think I need to do this alone.” “You know you’re never truly alone, sweetheart.” “I know.” Bane paused as a moment of realisation came over him, filling him with a sense of security and warmth. “It’s good to know. I think back on where I came from, and it’s all like a bad dream now.” “No matter what happens or what the future brings, this will always be your home. I will always be your family.” “Thanks, mom.” Bane smiled and leaned down for Mystic to plant a light kiss on his forehead. “Always, my child. And if Baeris gives you any trouble, tell me. She may have a hydra’s wrath, but I’ve weathered it before.”  A chuckle escaped his throat, and with it went the last of his anxious energy. He still felt uneasy for the conflict ahead, but he would be able to face it. He wanted to face it.  Bane released a pent up sigh and pushed himself to his feet. He hugged the woman who had raised him and loved him better than his birth mother, then headed back out the tunnel to the flight fields. Three shadows blotted out the sky beyond the tunnel’s exit. When he passed beneath the hanging vines and moss and stepped into the sunlight, he looked up to Baneo and Baaki, standing so close together that their shoulders touched. Baneo looked proud and a little confused, as he often did. Baaki ducked her head as he drew near, her starry eyes full of regret. Behind them, a sliver of blue marked where Stacurik hid. Stacurik peeked his head out from behind Baaki’s bulk. Though small by nature, the way he hunched in on himself, belly low to the ground, gave him the appearance of a chastised firelizard. He slunk forward and extended his slender muzzle toward Bane’s outstretched hand. ::Bane, I’m so sorry. This is my fault. He got the idea from my thoughts. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I was trying to think of a way for me and Baaki to be alone and then I thought maybe something off-world would help. Then he just took it and ran and I… I should have said something to stop him, but I honestly didn’t think it would get this far.:: “It’s alright, ‘rik. You and Baaki deserve a chance,” Bane said to interrupt the flood of words spilling into his mind. Baaki’s cool, violet threads cut through the jumble of blue. ::Are you certain? We don’t need to do this.:: “I’m certain, Baaki.” ::So… like… is this just for them or do I get some chicks too?:: Baneo’s words rumbled through his mind, an absolute landslide of hope and confusion and excitement and bewilderment. Baaki responded with a low growl from the depths of her chest. It rumbled through Bane’s fingertips as he stood with one hand on her snout and the other on Stacurik’s. ::Gods, you are so crude,:: she said. ::Hey, I resemble that remark!:: Bane’s composure broke. He laughed for the first time in earnest and tilted his head to rest against Baaki’s cheek. These dragons, these great, beautiful creatures that had saved his life, were just as much of a mess as he was. “Enough, all of you. Let’s go talk to Baeris. We’ll see what happens after that.” Bane moved around Baaki’s side and pulled himself up to the violet’s back. He gave her neck a fond pat as the three dragons broke apart and turned toward the field behind them. Baneo took to the sky first, rising overhead like a red stormcloud. Stacurik followed after. As Baaki spread her wings and prepared to take off, Bane took a moment to draw in a deep, fortifying breath, and then released it. It would take time for him to forgive Thayer for this overstep. Though he would forgive him. As aggravating, oblivious, and self involved as Thayer could be, he had a good heart. And he knew Bane better than he cared to admit. Not that he would ever tell him that. Now he only hoped that Baeris was equally forgiving.

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